Okay, so I’ll admit that I’ve been boy-crazy my whole life. I always crushed easily, and I typically took it in stride. I had this theory: if you didn’t put yourself out there, it was almost certain that nothing was going to happen. So I kind of went around telling most of the boys I had crushes on that I was sweet on them. Sweet on you; that’s what I’d tell them: I’m sweet on you. Because I was.
My crush on Trevor was pretty bad. In fact, I couldn’t even get up the nerve to tell him in person that I was sweet on him. I had to write it in a note. I’m not sure what it was…maybe his quiet nature, but he made me nervous in a way I wasn’t used to. After he read my note, he didn’t say anything. Being who I am, I had to bring it up. I don’t remember quite how the conversation went, but I remember it was in his car, traveling back from Hot Springs after going to the 2003 Documentary Film Festival. I didn’t feel like we really got anywhere with that conversation, other than I was pretty sure he was sweet on me, too. I knew I had to step up my game, so the next week, I did.
I feel like we’re in a place where I need to step up my game again. We’ve gotten pretty comfortable with this parenting gig, which is awesome. But sometimes I feel the crush slipping away. Or I forget that I even have a crush on him. But then he’s in the kitchen, shirtless with his steamy man arms (sorry, y’all–it’s so true), DOING THE DISHES. And I’m crushing all over again.
Trevor, I know you’re reading this…. I’m still totally sweet on you.