Wow. This one has been a doozey. Last week my therapist and I decided it would be wise if I made Mondays a do-nothing day, where my only required accomplishment is to have a nice day with Sadie. Sounds simple enough, right? Not so much. Homegirl did not want to take a nap a) that lasted longer than an hour, or b) that took place anywhere other than my arms. Okay, so that’s not technically so bad. But it IS exhausting. And she’s started this thing where, when we’re trying to help her fall asleep (rocking, patting, jiggling, shushing, playing rain sounds, holding in the pacifier, etc.), she starts talking, then yelling, then screaming. It started off kind of funny. Now it’s not so funny.
I know I’m most certainly setting the bar a little high for myself as a new mom, but I sure do feel like a bit of a failure today… I had a talk with my aunt who gave me some pretty sound tips. Unfortunately, the application of these tips didn’t go so well. I’d set her down in the crib and was letting her hang out watching her fake aquarium thingey, which she enjoys a lot. Her interest in it started to wane, and she started getting a little fussy. She wasn’t crying, so, heeding the advice I’d received, I just let her fuss a little longer. When it was starting to escalate and she was about to start crying, I walked in to find that SHE’D ROLLED OVER! And I missed it. I’d been trying to get her to roll from her stomach to her back just this morning. And then she goes and rolls from her back to her stomach without me. I know it might seem silly, but I’m really very sad about this. She’s starting to have these significant milestones, and one of the things that’s important to me about being home as long and as much as possible is that I don’t miss these milestones. And I missed the first biggie.
THEN, I decided to go with the advice of having Trevor give her a bedtime bottle. Pros: they get a new bonding activity, I get a little break (though have to pump for part of it), and we can be sure that Sadie gets a nice big meal at bedtime in the hopes that she’ll sleep maybe (just maybe) longer than two hours. This did not go down so well. We didn’t get the bottle ready in time, so she was hungry, tired, and angry by the time Trevor started trying to give it to her. I didn’t want to be present for the giving of the bottle, so I went ahead and pumped in the other room (mistake). Trevor tried for 20 minutes to give her the bottle, but she wasn’t having it at all. Of all the things I’ve been trying to avoid, giving her a bottle is at the very top of the list. But since I’d (stupidly) already pumped, I didn’t feel like I had much of a choice, other than to let her go to sleep hungry and wake up before my supply had replenished enough to make a difference.
She’s been asleep for about 30 minutes now, and I’m hoping that she’ll sleep well tonight, of all nights. Why? Oh, because I have a job interview tomorrow. Is my shirt ironed? No. Do my pants really fit? No. Am I going to be wearing shoes I bought at Target? Yes.
Silver linings of the day: I did get to see Sadie discover that she can kick the toy hanging from the hoop on her play mat to make the song play (again and again); MC brought us delicious cheese dip and beautiful flowers; Carrie and Nathanel dropped by; and I got to watch Trevor wearing Sadie around the house in the sling while he did bike stuff (pictures of that tomorrow, hopefully).