Post Partum Depression?

I’m becoming concerned that I might have post partum depression.  At the very least, my depression symptoms that I had before becoming pregnant have returned.  My therapist and I believed, since the symptoms went away when I went off the pill in order to get pregnant, they were mostly caused by the pill.  Now, I’m not so sure.  I do think hormones must obviously play a part, because I was pretty smooth and steady during my entire pregnancy.  Not anymore.  I’m mostly fine, and sleep deprivation tends to bring it on, but I’m a bit worried.  I’m calling my therapist tomorrow, and hopefully we can get on top of this before it gets any further out of hand.  I’m not ready to share everything about it on the blog at this time.  But, if you have any experirence (even second-hand) with post partum depression, I could use some advice, words of encouragement, what have you.  I’m especially worried that I might have to go on prescription medication, and that there will be negative effects on breastfeeding.  I know this will probably come as a bit of a surprise for those of you who know me personally, because I’m pretty good at keeping it together.  But this new mom thing is really effing hard sometimes.  And it’s made that much harder when my emotions get out from under me.  Not to mention my own “mommy issues,” which leave me constantly worried that I’m going to mess up with Sadie the way my mom did with me.

Well, there you have it.  How’s that for transparency?

7 thoughts on “Post Partum Depression?

  1. Shannon

    That’s what I like about you Brooke you just say what you need to say. I think it is very normal to have some depression after having a baby. I had my spurts of it to. On my birthday Nash was 7-8 weeks old and I cried all day and could not stop myself. Chris was out of town and I felt “alone” even though I had plans that day. I had other times to where I just held Nash and cried or laid in bed and cried. Your hormones are super crazy plus lack of sleep. It is just a recipe for your mood being crazy. Once Nash started sleeping better about 4 months I did a lot better. I think it’s great that you are seeing someone. I think that helps a lot. Don’t isolate yourself and have people help you every now and then. I wish I would of done more of that. I did everything myself and was WORE OUT. I don’t know if that helps or not. You know you are going to be and already are a great mom! Love ya girl!

    1. citysteader Post author

      Thanks, Shannon. Yes, a big part of my problem seems to be letting go of some of the responsibilities, even to Trevor. He’s often offering to take her when I’m frustrated, but it’s hard for me to pass her over, even when I know it’s his job, too.

  2. eve

    Oh Brooke. I am so sorry you are feeling this way. Thank you for sharing it with us. Can I help you? Do you want to get together and talk? I can watch Sadie if you need some time for yourself. I have struggled with depression, too, but obviously I don’t know much about having a baby to take care of. I do know that you and Trevor will be great parents and Sadie is so lucky to have you. Call me if you want to talk.

    1. citysteader Post author

      Thanks, Eve. I really am doing mostly fine. It’s just that when I’m not fine, I’m REALLY not fine, like I go from one end of the spectrum to the other, skipping over the middle ground. I’d love to get together, but it doesn’t just have to be to talk about all of this… :).

  3. megan

    hey brookie,
    just taking the evening to catch myself up on you and yours. i’m sorry to hear you are going through tough times but glad to hear you are taking steps to taking care of yourself. thinking about you here in germany!


  4. sarah

    hey b – just came across this post. i too have struggled with some postpartum issues… mostly severe anxiety. did your therapist get you the help you needed? some days i feel better and some days not so great … email me if you get a chance!


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