Parenting from Scratch

It’s been pretty quiet around here lately.

I don’t think it’s just me, but I’ve really noticed that there’s quite the dearth of photos of me in existence these days. I’m not super crazy about being photographed, so that’s part of it. I think it’s mostly to do with always being the one holding the camera, while it’s Trevor who holds the baby. Or something like that. So the solution I’ve come up with is to do a series of self portraits for a while. That way I can remember what I looked like. I’m using the Instagram app on my iPhone, and I’ve got it linked to a new Tumblr account, which I’ve added to a page here on this blog (See that, up at the top? Portraits of the Self.). You can look at them if you want. I feel stupid smiling when I take pictures of myself, so expect to see my perma-frown for the most part.

It’s just how my face looks, yo.

In upcoming news, Sadie and I are getting to preview the Little Rock Zoo’s new South African Penguin exhibit tomorrow. We’re supposedly going to get to meet a penguin in person. Hopefully Sadie won’t be too “sceered” of the little penguin and will let me take some cute pictures. I’ll absolutely be posting about it, so tune in!

Having spent three days last week in day care, it’s no surprise Sadie came down with a cold just in time for Super Bowl Sunday. Rather than drag her along to a party an hour away and infect the other wee ones, we decided to haul the TV out, set up a little coffee table spread, and do a little Super Bowl party of our own. Sadie rocked it out till halftime.

Trevor decided to dress Sadie in Packers colors. So, according to her wardrobe options, Sadie's a Green Bay Baby.

Getting into the game.

Attempting to recline. Ha!

Hamming it up for the camera, doing an impersonation of a player wrapping his gloves.

Even Too Big Baby gets in on the Super Bowl action. Like me, she's just watching for the commercials.

Meet Sadie’s new, 7 month-old baby sister, Too Big Baby. Sadie insisted on taking Too Big Baby home with us from my sister’s house Sunday night, and they’ve been attached on my at the hip ever since. This baby is too big! In some ways, it’s hilarious. The adorable sounds Sadie makes when she’s trying to hoist Too Big Baby up when she holds her. How she says, “hebby” when the burden is too great to bear. Let me tell you, though, this is one awkward baby. Trevor and I have both had the joy of carrying Sadie AND Too Big Baby around Sadie’s dark room, because there’s no way Sadie’s putting her down. She’s been hauled to and from the car (Miraculously we’ve been able to convince her Too Big Baby needs to stay in the car for a nap when we’re out around town), fed bottles, read to. I made the mistake of covering Too Big Baby up during Sadie’s “nap” yesterday, only to hear, a few minutes later, desperate cries for HELP! Too Big Baby’s blanket had come off, and Sadie couldn’t get it back right. On the up side, I’ve yet to have to change Too Big Baby’s diaper or nurse her. I don’t know how I’ve managed so long.

Of course this is all tongue-in-cheek (for the most part–she really is big and heavy). It still brings me enormous joy to see my baby caring so much for all of her babies. I do wish she wouldn’t hit them…

And, hey, I guess this kind of gives us some practice for whenever Spawn II comes around.

But, y’all, it’s only Tuesday!

I’ve, uh, been blogging somewhere else. And there’s so much more to do over there. Here are links to the Heifer Blog posts I’ve done about my Africa trip so far. (If you make it to the bottom of the list, you’ll be rewarded with the two funniest photos of me from the trip.)

Biogas/Appropriate Technology

Biogas in Uganda–Any Questions?

Biogas is Important for Rural Women

Biogas is Important for the Environment

Biogas is Important for Rural Children (I made a video!)

Appropriate Technology Keeps Your Hands Clean

Uganda

The Storks of Kampala

The Roads of Uganda

Heifer

Pierre Ferrari Samples Local Yogurt

The Casual Conversations

The Top 5 Reasons Heifer Africa Rocks

Energized and Heiferized

Changing the Way We Look at Rural Development

That's a monkey. About to eat a peanut off of my head.

It is shocking. How huge and thick and slimy a giraffe's tongue is. Shocking.

Okay, so to make up for the negativity from the other night, here are examples of Sadie being her usual, exceedingly adorable and awesome (albeit excessively busy) self. I let her have a jammies morning, and I switched her crib to a “toddler” bed. Thanks to Trevor, she is napping in it now (homegirl has flat-out refused to nap for me since before my trip to Africa). Then Sadie gave her new bathtime baby a little bath an potty lesson while I did some laundry.

It’s almost 2 in the morning. I’ve finally convinced Sadie that she wants her dad instead of me. I’m paranoid that as soon as he tries to put her back down in her crib, she’s going to start crying again, asking for “nuh-nuh” and “mama.” So I can’t fall back asleep.

I feel like I’m in some Catch 22, where if Sadie had weaned (more like, if I had weaned Sadie) before she got so old and demanding and strong and cognizant of what she Needs and Wants, maybe we wouldn’t be here. With a 21 month-old who demands–with hits and screams and tears and bites–that the only way she’s even considering going back to sleep is with having first nursed. But I made the decision early that we’d follow her lead, and so here we are.

In the light of day, after having finally woken fully up, say, after lunch, I’ll tell you all the reasons we’re letting Sadie wean on her own terms. Comfort, nutrition, immune system, security, Attachment, World Health Organization.

But now, in the middle of the night, and at 5:30 this morning when Sadie is UP? I am so fucking sleepy.

Lots of you probably have suggestions and ideas. They’re probably either helpful or offensive. Or we’ve already tried them and failed.

Sleep somewhere else a few nights? I went to Africa for a week.

Let her sleep in our bed? She never stops nursing long enough to sleep. Well, almost never. And she flails all around the entire time she’s nursing, so nobody else is getting any sleep.

Let her cry it out? Not. Gonna. Do it.

Tell her the nuh-nuhs are sleeping? She’s too smart for that, apparently.

I’m not looking for her to Sleep Through The Night or anything magical like that. I just want to be able to stay in bed every once in a while and have Sadie let Trevor calm her back to sleep.

And I just want to know… When did all that oxytocin I was promised turn into resentment?

Heifer Blog | The Official Blog of Heifer International: Biogas in Uganda.

Here’s another one, y’all.

Heifer Blog | The Official Blog of Heifer International: The Storks of Kampala.

Hey guys, here’s my first post on Uganda. If you’re interested, please leave comments! Comments are lacking on most of the Heifer Blog posts, but I’d really love it if I could start changing that!

Well, more like 9,000 miles. That’s about how far I’m going to be from my family. For real.

In case I haven’t talked to you lately, the big news is that I am traveling to Kenya and Uganda for work. Wowza would be an appropriate response. I’m accompanying our new CEO on a trip to visit some of our East Africa Dairy Development projects. I’m still trying to wrap my head around everything, and I just finished packing, so I’m going to be brief for the moment.

I may or may not be posting on this blog while I’m there. I’m going to be primarily posting to the Heifer blog and hopefully quite a bit, so keep an eye out there. I’ll also be sending in real-time tweets (@brookeje), if all goes well.

I’m super excited about the trip, but I’m also bummed about being so far away for so long from Trevor and Sadie. I wish they were coming with me. I’ve gotten choked up a couple of times already about leaving Sadie. We had our trial run back in September when I went to Orlando, so I know she’ll be fine. She’s in good hands. I just hope I don’t embarrass myself in front of my colleagues, bawling my eyes out or anything.

It’s been pretty whirlwind getting ready for this trip, too. I only learned I was going right before Thanksgiving. I had to have my passport expedited, get my shots (Oh, and cross your fingers I don’t get yellow fever. They don’t give that vaccine out to nursing mothers, FYI.), do all kinds of other paperwork, round up all the gear I’m taking and who knows what else. I nearly left work Friday without my travel advance; I did forget to deposit it. I stained a (borrowed) pair of pants and two (new-used) white shirts pink; I was totally unsuccessful at attempting to dye them blue. But, I did manage to pack everything I need into a laptop bag and a carry-on suitcase. Ten points for me!

So, I’ll leave you with the best picture I’ve taken of Sadie in a long time. I’ve set it as the background on my laptop. You know, so I can cry every night when I’m trying to get my job done.