Dilemma of the moment

Okay, so now here’s my current worry: if I pay $2,000+ to have a homebirth out of pocket, will I be able to afford to take any extra “unpaid” time off so I don’t have to stick my 6-week old baby in daycare?  Going into this, I’ve really had the mindset that any amount was “worth” having the labor and delivery I really wanted.  But that is starting to make less sense as I realize the full implications of it.  Will I go into debt for it?  Will I use up our savings?  I really don’t want to back down from having a home birth, but it’s kind of like turning down a full-paid scholarship at a university to go to a private college.  A homebirth would be a much richer experience, but if it costs me the ability to spend more time with the baby once it’s born, maybe it’s not worth it for this pregnancy.  It would be different, I think, if we made more money.  And if my insurance covered it, it would be a no-brainer.  But looking at our current situation, maybe it’s not as good a fit as I want it to be.  It’s really starting to stress this momma out.

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