Parenting from Scratch

Well, I managed to buy some $91 worth of groceries, yet made it out of Kroger without a single meal to prepare for the week. Sadie screamed (and hit and kicked) for at least five minutes before I made it through the checkout line, because I wouldn’t go back to the candy isle. Dinner was a total hodge-podge: I’m pretty sure Sadie had five olives, a little yoghurt, some mustard and a couple of bites of “burrito.” Must get back to meal planning and solo shopping on Sundays.

But I can’t even tell you how glad I am that bedtimes are mostly smooth. Pajamas, medicine, brush teeth, good night to Daddy, read three or five books, quick bedtime nurse, scratch back, scratch belly, scratch armpits (I don’t even know what that’s about), I Love Yous, kisses, cuddles, sleep. It’s such a good mending time for Sadie and me when we’ve had a rough spot. And it’s SO much less work than it was even a month ago, as hard as that might seem to believe.

Not all evenings are so rough, mind you. Yesterday was one of painting and goons, whatever that means. But this toddler thing sure kicks my ass sometimes. Oh, and Kroger, would it hurt to have the peanut butter on a different isle than the candy?

We took Sadie to a drive-through holiday light display tonight. It was amusing, to say the least. When we finally hit The Line, Sadie started her stoplight chorus of “TURN GREEN!” (Oh, yes. Trevor has her believing that if she yells at the stoplights they will turn green for her. She’s hated stoplights since before she could hold her head up on her own.) And then, when we finally got to what was “the holdup,” turns out we were $4 shy of the $5 entry fee (oops, thought it was free). So a big Thanks to the folks in North Little Rock who gave us quite the holiday discount. We’re good for it next year.

All dressed up and ready to go!

There were a number of odd ducks on this holiday trail of lights. How a crocodile fits into the season, I just can’t say. My favorite part, though, was when Sadie saw a pair of gingerbread people. She called them “Cookie Pants.” I SO wish I hadn’t corrected her. She quickly took to “gingerbread men,” ditching what may be the best Sadieism of all time. I even tried to get her to go back to calling them “cookie pants,” but it was a no-go.

Calls everyone her Best Friend, except for people she claims to be afraid of.

Speaks lovingly and longingly of her Best Friends. She misses them, wants to love on them and SQUEEEZE on them.

Appears to have the same keen sense of direction as her dad.

Still asks to go trick-or-treating, but is also looking forward to Going to Thanksgiving to eat turkey and spaghetti and pie.

Is a lover of dancing, stirring things, painting, movies and candy, nursing, shoes, books about animals, her Arkansas State Capitolween Building.

Has a Southern twang like I’d never imagined.

Can be convinced to go anywhere there is a party and assumes party = cake and candy.

Once tried to convince me to buy two copies of the same Strawberry Shortcake movie.

Still is kind of a crappy sleeper.

Is interested in yoga.

Learned the word “hipster” last night.

After convincing me to steal a flower from an arrangement at a wedding reception, said, “This smells good. It smells like mustard. Dewishus.”

It’s Sadie’s third Halloween, but it’s really her first to fully participate. I was worried about Sadie not having some big kids to trick-or-treat with. We made a few practice runs at friends’ houses, where instead of the traditional “Trick or treat!” Sadie just said, “Thanks,” and walked right in the door. We drove to the neighborhood across the way to the street of our friend’s parents, where nearly every house is a sure bet. After just a handful of houses, Sadie was trick-or-treating like a pro! And what a great time to practice her manners. She got so into it.

Oh and the candy…

We’re back home now watching the Charlie Brown Great Pumpkin movie and eating a few select pieces of candy before bed. Good thing Trevor is off on Tuesdays!

I’d initially planned on Sadie being Ponyo, which she was Saturday night for a Halloween carnival. But she’d been saying she wanted to be an elephant. One wasted lunch break, a bunch of crafting supplies, and a call from a great friend later, Sadie had the perfect (albeit a touch small) elephant costume. With a little stage makeup from my college days, we completed Sadie’s look, and even painted my face white so I could be a ghost per Sadie’s suggestion.

Nope, that’s not just Sadie watching a little TV. That’s Sadie reenacting the beginning of Alice in Wonderland. I didn’t grab my phone quickly enough to catch the start of her performance. Ah, well.

Disclosure: I received 20 Duck Bucks to use while creating this blog post. However, the statements and opinions contained within the post are mine.

I certainly wouldn’t consider myself a hardcore children’s clothing consignment shopper. But it has become the primary way I shop for clothes for Sadie. Aside from a few one-off purchases at retail stores, I mostly just wait for consignment sales, like Duck Duck Goose (Arkansas’s original consignment sale, apparently).

There are several Duck Duck Goose sales each season around the state: Little Rock, Jacksonville, Conway, Pine Bluff and Hot Springs. The sale in Little Rock is the BIG sale, and it’s held at the Hall of Industry at the Arkansas State Fairgrounds.

I went to Friday night’s half-off sale, where every item WITHOUT a dot is half off. You miss the best selection this way, but for someone like me who’s alright with that, you can really make out like a bandit shopping the half-off sales (this time, Friday from 7-9pm and all day Saturday). I tried to find someone to go with me this trip and couldn’t, but it was just as well, because unless it was someone who was going to help me carry, it wasn’t really a social event for me. I took pictures with my phone, so they’re pretty bad, but they do give you a sense of what it’s like if you’ve never been.

I've never been a fan of mascot suits, so I'm glad I'm a blogger and not a journalist.

After shopping big consignment sales a handful of times, I’ve really kind of honed my shopping style. Here are some tips/ways to shop I find useful:

• Bring a laundry basket, empty stroller or at least SOMETHING to help you keep up with your load. This is where I fail miserably every time (I like to blame the forgetfulness on sleep deprivation). It’s exhausting to be filling up one arm while using the other hand to flick through items on racks. Some consignment sales are located in closed down big-box stores, so they have shopping carts available. The Hall of Industry, obviously, does not.
• If you’ve got a list of items you’re looking for for someone else, do that first. I was on the hunt for cowboy boots size 11 for a nephew (no luck), a particular bouncer for a yet-to-be-born niece (no luck) and an activity mat for the same upcoming niece (score!). Once I got those out of the way with, I could focus on Sadie.
• I like to start with gear first. I was looking for a jogging stroller on the cheap, but the only ones available were two-seaters. This is where shopping early might have worked best.
• Then I move on to furniture/decor. I usually find a couple of things I like, but then I remember it’s best not to buy such things impulsively. I get really annoyed at myself when I buy something I intend to paint or hang or something, only to let it pile up in my closet (Trevor’s got some sort of nickname for my closet… the pit, perhaps.).
• Next up is toys. We try to keep Sadie’s toy selection pretty moderate and well curated, so I don’t let myself go crazy here. I’ve been planning to add more furniture sets to her dollhouse, and I lucked into finding some for a good price.
• The bulk of my shopping is in clothes. There are rounders set up, marked with sizes by age. It’s  important to know the distinctions in the sizes for infants and toddlers. Last time I went to Duck Duck Goose, I spent a bunch of time looking through the 24-month racks, only to remember that Sadie’s more of a 2T (there is, indeed, a difference).
• I’m pretty fast at getting through the racks, and I attribute this to my pickiness. I can fly through items, mostly passing them by because they’re too cheesy, too flowery, too fru-fru, or have licensed characters, large logos or annoying sayings on them. I pile up on my “free” arm what I like. Save the sorting for later.

• Once I’ve made it through all of the racks, I find a place to sort. I look for reasons to eliminate something from the pile, like an embellishment I missed the first time around, or having a trim that looks like it would require ironing to stay straight (you can believe I’m not about to iron Sadie’s clothes at this age).
• With my pile whittled, I add up the cost of getting everything. If it’s more than I want to spend, I go back to eliminating things. This trip, I really didn’t have to do that.
• I’m kind of weird about secondhand socks and shoes. I sometimes breeze through, though, to look for a hidden gem or some legwarmers (last time I scored four pair for $2).

Getting Sadie to model anything for a camera is next to impossible, so here she is "sleeping" at the library in one of her new fall dresses.

I have a good handful of friends who actually sell clothes at consignment sales. Sadie’s pretty hard on her clothes (and I’m not the best at removing stains), so I don’t know if we’ll end up with much worth selling when the time comes. We’re still planning on Sadie having a sibling, so I’m holding on to everything for now, in case we have another girl. Who knows, though, maybe I can earn back a dollar or two.

We had a day of several firsts today, and I thought I’d share them here.

Sadie made her first prank call this morning. It was pretty funny, actually. We have a land line for the purpose of having our alarm system monitored (you catch that, stalkers?), and nobody calls us on it except sales people, pollsters and wrong numbers. So…I might let her answer it when it rings. Sometimes she picks it up and pushes buttons. Usually I get to her before she actually calls someone. Oops on today. I could hear somebody saying hello and then asking for her mommy. She kept saying her mama was right here, and then she said some nonsense and goodbye, and she hung up. Bah!

The second first was running two errands with Sadie in undies instead of a diaper. After a successful pee in the potty.

Finally, after a stressful bath/shower (Sadie hates, hates having her hair washed), Sadie requested that I apologize to her. Sweet girl.

I just read this post at Becoming Sarah, and it struck a chord with me.

I can relate to the hesitancy toward letting people see just how uptight I am about food. It all started with a college course on food and American culture. And not being able to unknow the things I began to learn. I’ve definitely not come as far as I would like to be (Ben & Jerry’s is a major weakness, for example), but I’d say I’m much more strict than the average Joe about what food I put in my body.

Let me tell you, it’s only gotten worse since Sadie was born. Let me tell you some other things:

It is exhausting being this uptight. Exhausting both physically and emotionally. I stay up late or work early in the morning doing crazy things like making homemade granola AND granola bars. I worry all the time about whether I’m doing enough. I made strawberry jam, but I can’t seem to get around to making other jams or trying to can other things (pickles, sauerkraut, beans, tomatoes). I wish I could get into the swing of making homemade bread (I can’t even stand how long the list of ingredients on our preferred bread’s package). I made yogurt for a while, but then my local source of milk vanished. And I never could get that routine enough, either.

It is a constant, uphill battle keeping crap out of Sadie’s hands and mouth. And not because she’s a toddler. Because she’s surrounded by it nearly every time we leave the house. I can’t keep her from it, and I know a lot of people (maybe most) would say this is where I’m WAY too uptight, but I wish I could. I wish we could afford to send her to a school where only healthy, real foods were offered. I wish I could change the minds of family members who are okay with kids having soda and candy and other non-foods regularly. But I can’t. As Sarah mentions in her post, food is SUCH a touchy subject. Food + kids is volatile.

I don’t really know where I’m going with this. Just venting, I guess. I know: I’m too hard on myself, too hard on others, too hard on the world. But I CAN’T just let it go. In a country where elementary students have high blood pressure and diabetes at alarming rates, what we don’t know CLEARLY IS hurting us. It’s hurting our children.