I’m sorry if it seems like this blog has taken a turn for the dismal. I promise, there’ll be more cheery posts and pictures of Sadie in the near future. It’s just that I’m in a bit of a funk lately. Sadie’s sleep had gotten pretty nice–she was giving us a solid 4 (sometimes 5 or even 6) hour stretch and only waking up to nurse twice before morning (usually waking up a third time in between those two, but being easily settled without nursing). Then, we had a couple of really rough nights. I think it’s a gas issue, but I don’t really know how to tell for sure. The past few nights we’ve given her gripe water at her “bedtime” nursing, and it’s helped some. But she’s back to waking up three times a night–effectively every two hours–wanting to nurse. Part of me wonders if she’s waking up more because she’s in the bassinet, but it actually seems like she falls back to sleep more easily in the bassinet than she does in our bed, which is why I’ve been putting her in there after nursing her. Well, that, and I also sleep a bit better without her in bed (there, I said it).

Her naps during the day are getting out of whack, too. It seems like she has a hard time sleeping longer than 45 minutes at a time (we’re going on 58 minutes now, and I’m probably pushing my luck). Just last week, though, she could almost always be counted on to go down for two two-hour naps a day. I think this might have to do with change, too. She’s getting close to being too big for the bassinet, so I’ve been putting her down for naps in the crib during the day. That way, when she really can’t sleep in the bassinet at night, it won’t freak her out to be put down in the crib at night. Not sure if it’ll work, but it makes sense to me.

I really wanted co-sleeping to work out for us. I never would have thought that I’d be the problem. I figured it would be Trevor, because of being nervous with her there or something. I’m a much pickier sleeper than I knew, and I can’t seem to find a comfortable position to sleep in with Sadie in the bed. I think it might be different if we had a bigger bed, but our bedroom simply isn’t big enough for a bigger bed. When we do co-sleep, I seem to get such poor sleep that I get absurdly frustrated when she wakes up to nurse.

The other thing I’m struggling with is the nursing itself. I sooo wanted to looove breastfeeding. It’s not that I hate it, and I’m DEFINITELY sticking with it, it’s just that it’s STILL not the blissfully pleasant experience I expected it to be. Of course, I was mentally prepared for their to be rough times, but I figured things would get nicer as we got better at it. Sadly, that doesn’t seem to be the case. Maybe we don’t have the latching thing down as well as I think we do. Maybe it’s because of her tongue-tie (though I took her to a doctor about it yesterday and was told it’s not bad enough to clip it presently). Maybe it’s the forceful let-down. All I know is that there is generally frustration on both ends of the deal, and that makes me so sad. As in lump in throat, tearing up right now. And it doesn’t help that she’s lately been nursing what seems like all the freaking time. Maybe my supply is decreasing (though I can’t imagine why it would), so she’s not getting enough at each feeding, so she has to feed more frequently. I don’t really know how to tell…

These are just the two things I’d really counted on being some of my favorite parts of mothering her. It’s so disappointing to have it be otherwise. To keep this post from being utterly dismal, some of my favorite parts are: how alert Sadie is, how engaged she is, how much she’s “talking” to us, how delighted she is at things, bath time, and carrying her in the sling.

In other news, I received my official letter stating that I am now a Licensed Master Social Worker. Pretty exciting stuff. And I’m doing my best to find a job. Do you know of any? In case I haven’t already told you this, I’m looking for a part-time job that will pay enough for me to stay home some with Sadie. I’d take a social work job, I’d take a writing gig, I’d really do just about anything. There are some jobs I’m applying for, but I’ve never ever gotten a job without having some sort of inside connection (even a summer job at American Eagle).

And here are some random pictures of our furry companions, to brighten my mood:

It actually looked like a kitty crime scene when I walked into Sadie's room.

Willow with her hilarious summer cut. She looks like a bat-lamb.

Nari after being Furminated. And she's STILL shedding a ton!

I’ve been meaning to write a post about how cloth diapering is going for quite a while (I’ve even had a blank draft, titled “On cloth diapering” saved for weeks), and I think today is the perfect day to finally get to it.  Why?  Because today has been one poopy diaper day!  For the past few weeks, Sadie has switched from having poopy diapers just about every time she breastfeeds to saving it up for a day and then having diaper after diaper full of poop all in one go.  Today has been one of those days.

In case you missed it, here is a post about all of the gear we have to make cloth diapering happen at our house.  We are, for the most part, using every single thing on the list.  We are, as I had originally planned, primarily using the prefolds with covers around the house.  These work pretty darn well, especially when they’re just wet diapers.  The blow-out poopy diapers, though?  Not as much, unfortunately.  I’ve definitely had to clean up some poopy messes.  But I’m really not sure there’s a diaper out there that could contain that much poop.  I’d forgotten, until today, about the Snappi fasteners.  I’d tried working with them once, but I couldn’t quite figure out how to fold the diaper to make it happen (there are several ways).  After our first majorly huge diaper this morning, though, I decided to give it another shot.  So far, we’ve had two more pretty big ones, and the covers have managed to stay pretty clean (to be honest, sometimes we just “tidy up” the covers if a little bit of poop gets on them since it’s still just breastmilk poop after all), and there’s been no spillage out of the cover.  I kind of think it’s time to move into the next size for these, though, so that might also help make a difference.

The bumGeniuses are just great, too.  We use these when we go out, usually with two inserts.  We always keep a wet bag with us to put the dirty diapers in, so it really is about as easy as using disposables for outings, probably easier since we never have to find a trash can.  One of my sisters has even changed Sadie from one bumGenius to another, and she didn’t report any problems at all.  It is amazing how dry the microfiber stays against her skin, we can even reuse a diaper if it’s just been wet by swapping out a dry insert for a wet one.  But, again, pretty much nothing can stand up to her big poops, so we’ve had some fun with that–must remember to always keep a spare shirt in the diaper bag for ME!  We also use a doubled-up bumGenius overnight, now that she doesn’t poop at night.

The extra laundry isn’t much of a pain at all.  We do diaper laundry every two to three days, and doing a load is super simple.  We do a cold rinse, followed by a hot wash with soap, and then an extra cold rinse.  We are having some issues with staining, which I’m trying to figure out.  I’m hoping Trevor will get the clothesline up in the backyard soon, so I can try drying them in the sun to bleach out the stains.

I’m still not sure what will happen when it comes time to put Sadie in daycare, but I am so glad that we decided to go with cloth diapers.  It’s nice not to have to add disposable diapers to our weekly grocery trip.

And it seems I’m not the only one blogging about cloth diapers this week!  I’ve got some links for you:

Simple Mom (a blog I subscribe to) has been running a Cloth Diapering 101 series all week.  Follow these to read the introduction; 4 Cloth Diapering Choices Defined; 7 Cloth Diapering Questions, Answered Mom-to-Mom; Visual Demonstration: How to Put on a Cloth Diaper, and How to Get One Clean (with videos); The Simple Mom Cloth Diaper Review (with giveaway!); Cloth Diapering: Your Most Common Questions, Answered; and a whole page of links to cloth diapering articles, resources, etc.

ALSO, Baby Cheapskate (another blog I read) has had several recent posts concerning cloth diapers.  The first actually directs you to another blog post on how to save $10 off on cloth diapers at Diapers.com (I’m not sure if this expires…I hope not, because I’m wanting a few more bumGenius diapers, I think).  The second is an approach to cloth diapering on a budget.

AND, don’t forget to check out all of the cloth diaper links I’ve got in the sidebar to the right.

For those of you in Little Rock, The Green Corner Store is supposedly (as in, that’s what they told me at the Earth Day Festival) going to be carrying cloth diaper supplies whenever they open.  Does anyone have an idea when this might be?  I keep driving by, but no luck so far!  I’ll be sure to report back when I finally make it through their doors (15th and Main).